Thanks so much for visiting HipWriterMama, my blog about children's books, authors and readergirlz!

It's time for a change. I've decided to focus my attention on my writing blog, www.vivianleemahoney.com. Hope to see you there!


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Vote for Your Favorite Five Sentence Entry

Edited to Add: I just changed the date on this post since I made an error in the voting deadline. I wrote the post yesterday evening, ready to post today, but forgot to change the post date--which messed up the voting date on the ballots below. I'm so sorry, contestants!

May 2, 2008
The voting ballot is now closed. Thank you for voting!

Contestant #4, Tom, you're the winner! Your prize is a first chapter critique. e-mail me at hipwritermama at comcast dot net and send me your first chapter. I'll e-mail your critique back to you over the weekend.

A big thank you to everyone who participated in this: Tom, M. Thompson, Sam Riddleburger, Beth, Chris, and Caryn. You did good.
Thank you to everyone who stopped by and entered my first writing contest. I thought people would appreciate the winning prize of a first chapter critique by moi. Six contestants submitted a five sentence entry, based on a writing prompt below from the wonderful Charlotte's Web by E.B. White. And you get to decide who the winner will be!
"Templeton's eyes were blazing."

"Is this true?" he asked. "Is this appetizing yarn of yours true?
I like high living, and what you say tempts me."

Here are the six entries. Thank you to everyone who participated in this: Tom, M. Thompson, Sam Riddleburger, Beth, Chris, and Caryn. I didn't put their names on their entry, so you can judge the entry as "purely" as possible. I even mixed up the names that I listed, so they don't match the entries below.

The voting "booth" is below the entries. Voting ends tonight at 11pm, EST. Please vote for the entry that intrigues you enough to want to read more. And if you have any kind words for the contestants, bring them on!

Let the voting begin! Good luck!

Contestant 1:

Templeton limped towards me. His cane thunked with every step. I kept close eye on the cane. Templeton was known to use it if provoked.

"Templeton," I said, "Have I ever led you astray? The announcement was made this morning. Lord Shackleton is holding a contest for his daughter's hand in marriage."

Contestant 2:
O’Shaughnessy tapped a cigarette on the table before lighting it. He looked around to make sure that no one else was near. “Believe me, it’s true. It’s better than the Midas touch. There are risks though.”

Templeton gave an exaggerated shrug. “What’s life without risks?”

Contestant 3:
Templeton rubbed his hands together. His beady eyes flickered, watching my every move. I carried a ruby goblet, filled with a magic elixir.

"Come now," I said, "drink from this cup and you will soon see the riches before you." Templeton shook his head.

Contestant 4:
I gasped. Marlowe clasped his hand around my mouth and pulled me further in the shadows.

"Shhh! If the Sinster Five realize we're here, we're sure to be sent to the gallows," Marlowe said, "We need to find out why they need Templeton on their side."

Contestant 5:
He paused.

"But..." His eyes grazed over to the window, and the stormy sky outside. "On the other hand, eternal life may not be what I need. Perhaps..."

I grabbed his arm, jerked his attention back to me. "This, THIS is what you need!"

Templeton was already shaking his head. "Why do you want me to do this so much? Perhaps this is what YOU need."

Contestant 6:
"Aw, Temp, it aint high living at all. I'm exhausted and bored and I'm sick of seeing my picture in the paper."

"Then don't go back, Brit, stay here."

"No, they'll never let me go."

And, I'll never let you go either, thought Templeton, although somewhere deeper down he knew she was already gone.


m. thompson said...

This was a fun contest. Good luck everyone!

The Cole Mine said...

I think I voted too late but all were fun to read! Such a fun contest!

SamRiddleburger said...

Rats, I voted too late, too. And I was so proud of myself for not voted for my own entry...

HipWriterMama said...

Okay, guys. I am sooooo sorry. I made a mistake on my post--I wrote it yesterday evening, ready to post for today, but forgot to change the date. The voting actually is supposed to end tonight (Thursday, May 1st) at 11pm, EST.

So, contestants, you tell me what you'd like to do. Start over? Keep the deadline tonight at 11pm, EST? Or open the voting until tomorrow?

mrspilkington said...

That was fun -- thanks!

beth said...

I'm so far behind in the poll that I don't think I CAN catch up, even with more time :( Either way on the deadline works for me!

MotherReader said...

Okay, now I'm more confused. When is voting officially closed?

HipWriterMama said...

You're right, MotherReader. I've got to close up the voting here.

Thanks everyone for voting! This has been a close race. Contestant #4, Tom, you're the winner! Send me your first chapter to my e-mail: hipwritermama at comcast dot net. Congrats!